They told me in Bible College to be prepared to preach, pray or die at a moment’s notice.

On Sunday, Dec 28, I received a phone call at 9:30 am. The Iowa Youth Board had just learned that their speaker would not be able to come for Winter Retreat. The event was scheduled to start at 1:30 that afternoon and they asked if I would come speak. As soon as Morning Worship ended I went home, picked up my Bible, a notebook of sermon notes, my laptop, and packed some clothes.

I did a lot of praying, some preaching, and tried to avoid dying – not unusual for a youth retreat!

It was a privilege to share the Word and I enjoyed the interaction but I also learned a great deal. Here are some of the things I learned and re-learned:

1. The power of ME is growing progressively stronger. On two separate occasions the retreat leaders attempted a game which required the teens to work in groups or teams but individualism took over. The power of ME, looking out for Number One, is intense and makes working in community difficult. The church will have to find creative and effective methods for helping teens and young adults understand the Lordship of Christ as well as the importance of being a member of the Household of Faith. The world calls us to be independent and self-sufficient. Christ calls us to be living sacrifices; to take up our cross and follow Him.

2. Verbal communication is becoming more challenging. The culture our youth live in is saturated with captivating images, mesmerizing sounds, and streaming text messages. In order to effectively communicate the Gospel – the whole counsel of God – we must learn to be innovative in using images, sound and text while still remaining theologically correct. Youth leaders and Pastors need to cultivate the art of telling thought-provoking stories and asking penetrating questions.

3. A teen’s world is small. Youth exist in a relatively small sphere of friends. They might have scores of acquaintances, but the group of trusted friends is smaller than ever. This is exacerbated by youth’s struggle with self-esteem and self-acceptance and is a greater problem for gals than it is for guys. When we ask teens to invite friends to youth group or welcome the visitors who do show up, we are pushing them way beyond their comfort zone. Introducing new youth one-on-one and depending on adults to welcome newcomers may help alleviate some discomfort, but trust and respect are achieved only through a great deal of patience.

4. Blended families are the new normal. Just a few years ago, the majority of teens involved in church activities and youth group were from stable families with a Mom, Dad, and siblings. A family that ate together most evenings and went to ballgames, movies and grandma’s house. Now there is a new normal made up of single parent homes, non-custodial parents, grandparents as guardians, and weekends with “the other dad,” step-brothers & sisters. An informal, non-scientific survey of the teens at this retreat indicated 70% came from a blended or single parent family.

The impact of this “new normal” is staggering. Almost every youth program I know of is designed with the assumption that the youth are coming from a stable, home with two birth parents. Recently I had a discussion with a church leader who was incensed that the youth leader could get 40 high school students out on a Wednesday night but only 6 showed up for Sunday morning. His conclusion? Too much entertainment on Wednesday night. However, if he were to consider the possibility that 70% of the students are from split and blended families he might realize that many of them are with the “other” parent on the weekends.

Furthermore, what does this mean about our young adult, middle-age, and even retirement age ministries? Do we take into consideration the shocking reality that families have changed? We better wake up to this!

As a final observation: Youth have the most sensitive social “antenna” imaginable. If they sense that an adult doesn’t like anything about their appearance, or if they have ever heard even a hint of condemnation about their choice of music, or if an adult has ever “disrespected” them, they will avoid that person like the plague! Adults, no matter what your age, youth are not only our future, they are the church today. Be careful of your attitude.

I say this every year to the staff at Tri State Camp: What you say is important but what you do SCREAMS! Be Prepared!

• Surgically removing your kids from the toy store.
• Fruitcake.
• Snow.
• Visa bills that equal your mortgage.
• PlayStation Noise.
• Your 47^th viewing of It’s A Wonderful Life.
• Thoughts of Peace on Earth as you, in one day, visit relatives in four different homes, all serving coffee and fruitcake.
• A snow storm.
• Eggnog, candy, cheese balls, punch, cakes with fruit in them, cookies, and a gift certificate for Weight Watchers.
• A desire to deck a few shoppers instead of the Halls.
• Invitations printed in red and green ink.
• Receiving a gift of . . . fruitcake.
• Pine needles in the carpet.
• Snow drifts.
• Getting mauled at the mall.
• “Assembly required” nightmares.
• Fruitcake.
• Jack Frost deciding to actually bite down hard, and not just limiting himself to your nose.
• More snow.

These holidays can certainly be a non-stop treadmill of activity!

As a pastor, I remember in the not-too-distant past, holiday schedules that were so packed there was no time to be immersed in the wonder of the moment. We often have so many programs to plan and special messages to prepare, that we forget why we are doing this. Christ has come!

Take time this season to enjoy the traditional Carols. Go attend a Communion service at another church – where you won’t be asked to speak or sing or do anything but contemplate the miracle of mercy and grace: Christ has come!

When you lead your own special Christmas service, make sure fruitcake will not be served immediately after. Then, head home, turn off the cell phone and take your land-line off the hook and enjoy the evening with your family! Christ has come!

Make an appointment for your whole family to gather for a reading of Luke’s account of that Holy Night. Choose a translation of the Bible that’s new and read it with all the dramatic inflection you can muster. Christ has come!

Find some time alone – even if its sitting in your car with the engine and heater running – and allow the silence to press into your soul the awesome story of Christmas. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with peaceful confidence that no matter what you face tomorrow or the next day, no matter what happens in this world we live in, Christ has come!

From our family to yours, we trust you will have a wonderful Christmas and that our Savior’s presence will be more and more evident in each day of the coming year.

Jim & Lois Eschenbrenner

P.S. Avoid the fruitcakes!

Brian stood up in the middle of the discussion and said, “We don’t need to send them any money because we’re supposed to take care of our own.”

The pastor was stunned, offended, and angry that this man with so much influence in the church, who claimed to have been a Christian for many years, would so easily dismiss the church’s responsibility to help the poor in their community.

It was a regularly scheduled church business meeting. The Elders, with the pastor’s encouragement, had presented a motion to send $1000 of the surplus in the general fund to a community benevolence fund which was preparing to give Christmas gifts to fifty families with more than 150 children. The fund was well managed; the recipients were screened and had genuine needs.  This was an opportunity to make a difference.

The pronouncement from Brian brought discussion to a halt. As a major contributor and long-time member, Brian was exerting his profound influence. If he didn’t think it was a good idea there weren’t many in the meeting who would oppose him.

“What do you mean by ‘take care of our own,'” the pastor asked, “Who is ‘our own?'”

“Well, you know,” Brian answered, “people who go to our church.”

The pastor continued, “Do you know anyone who attends our church who is facing severe financial problems?”

Silence. It was deafening.

Everyone intuitively knew the answer. No family in the church would be unable to put presents under the Christmas tree or have an empty refrigerator.

“If there are no needs in our church family,” said the pastor, “let’s help those in our community who do have needs.”

Brian quickly responded – almost as if the answer had been rehearsed: “Those people don’t deserve our help. They smoke and drink and do drugs; some are living with people they’re not married to, others just got out of jail. They’re lazy good-for-nothings.”

Once again, silence.

The pastor knew that some of the people getting assistance from the community benevolence fund had very messy, complicated, and addiction controlled lives. There were others who had needs because of circumstances beyond their control; a local plant had just closed, another had massive lay-offs, and one family had two children with birth-defects. And there were probably a couple of people who were “working the system.”

The motion failed.

How come we so easily dismiss the very poignant parable about the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25:31-46? Should we just hit the delete button and pretend Jesus never told this story?

Why have our hearts become so hard toward the needs of people with messy lives? We have no problem helping people we like; people who are just like us. But helping those caught in addiction spirals, or giving a bag of groceries to a gay couple is difficult if not impossible. Why?

The point of the parable in Matthew 25 is clear: We are expected to meet the needs of those around us – no matter how distasteful we find their lives and/or circumstances.

Of even greater importance, Jesus seems to indicate that the depth of our commitment to God will be measured by how we helped and reached out to those with needs. The pastor in the story has openly speculated about whether or not Brian understands that his opinion about who deserves help might actually result in God saying, “I don’t know you.”

This is a true story but some names and circumstances have been altered.

Last week, following the election, numerous pundits began churning out advice for the president-elect. One list of suggestions by Jon Kraushar entitled, “The President as CEO,” caught my attention. Although I’m not comfortable with a parallel comparison of the pastor as CEO, Kraushar makes some insightful observations which are worth our consideration.

Local church pastors need to reflect on how well they are functioning as:

Chief Essentials Officer. Pastor, you are the spiritual director and must determine what is of utmost importance for the household of faith. Don’t re-invent the wheel on this one. Scripture makes our priorities very clear: The Great Commandment, the Great Commission, worship, Holy marriages, Biblically centered families, etc. Keep the essentials front and center.

Chief Educational Officer. People need to know the essentials and the pastor is a teacher. You must educate those under your spiritual care regarding the foundations of our faith. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming others are filling this role. Don’t substitute evangelism for education.

Chief Explanatory Officer. The people who learn to believe the essentials must know why they are imperative. One of the reasons why so many of our young people are walking away from faith and the church is because they don’t know why they believe! Even older adults, when faced with crises, often become bewildered because they mistakenly believe God would not allow them to undergo hardship and suffering.

Chief Expectations Officer. Pastors need to work with church leaders in setting clear objectives, standards and guidelines. To use Paul’s analogy, do people know they’re expected to move from milk to meat? Are you communicating the expectation that people establish a rhythm of life that includes worship, work and family?

Chief Elimination Officer.  It is important to determine what the local church should stop doing. This takes us back to determining what is essential. As pastor you must lead in such a way as to eradicate the practices and programs that are unproductive and counterproductive.

Chief Evaluation Officer. The pastor must examine and reexamine the quality and value of what is happening with the essentials. Don’t be fooled into thinking this is a numbers game. You must wrestle with how to determine whether or not people under your spiritual care are growing and maturing – becoming more and more like Jesus. If a course correction is needed, don’t put it off.

Chief Example Officer. The pastor is not perfect and should not be expected to reach that ideal in this life. However, the pastor must be aware that he serves as a model for others to follow. What you say is important. What you do SCREAMS! This is a particularly heavy burden but . . .

If you read Kraushar’s article you’ll note I didn’t use all his points. Some of them don’t apply. And I want to make certain you understand the disclaimer: Pastors are not CEO’s is the sense of corporate definitions. Pastors are spiritual directors called to prayer, studying the Word of God, pressing truth into this messed up world. We don’t work for profit margins or stock incentives – our reward may never be seen in this life. We are not called to make stockholders happy by producing dividends but to be faithful in obedience and humility.