This past weekend I had the privilege of facilitating a church Leadership Conference. We began our discussions on Friday evening and when we gathered on Saturday morning, one of the participants brought Faith. She walked right up to me and said, “Who are you?”

I introduced myself and asked her name. She responded, “Faith. I’m 8 until my next birthday.”

By this time I was right down at her level and asked, “When is your next birthday?”

“November,” she replied.

“My birthday is in November, too!” I said, “On the 4^th. What day is your birthday on?”

“10,” she said. And a very special relationship was born.

Every church could use a little Faith.

Sunday morning I arrived for Sunday School to find Faith and her Mom already there. Faith greeted me like a long-lost friend and carried on quite a conversation with the central theme that she would make sure I knew everybody. And she did!

For the next 15 minutes, each person who entered the church – no matter which of the three entrances they were using – was greeted by Faith who said, “You need to shake hands with Jim.” She then proceeded to lead them to where I was standing and even if I was talking to someone else, Faith would take my hand and say, “You need to shake hands with them,” and point to whomever she had in tow.

Some of the encounters were funny because Faith was no respecter of persons. Even if the individual or couple had been present all weekend at the Leadership Conference, she insisted that we be introduced as if we had never met.

I don’t think Faith knows what the term “stranger” really means within the context of the church. It was clear that in her mind I needed to meet everyone and each one should shake my hand. Sometimes she couldn’t remember their names but she didn’t forget mine and took every opportunity to remind people that my birthday was in November, too!

Faith made me feel important; welcome; part of the family.

Every church could use a little Faith.

I wonder who makes guests at your church feel welcome and important.

Please don’t take this as a suggestion to recruit 8 yr olds to be greeters. And don’t assume that every guest needs to be introduced to every regular attender.

My point is this: Someone should attempt to establish a rapport with a newcomer; find some common ground – it might be as simple as sharing a birthday month. That individual could then find others with a shared interest and introduce the guest. All this needs to be done with innocent sincerity – like that of an 8 yr old. False pretenses must always be avoided and the greeter should never shy away in embarrassment.

Our goal should be to help visitors feel important; welcome; part of the family.

Every church could use a little Faith.

I am often asked for a sample job description for a pastor especially by churches who are trying to figure out exactly what a pastor does. This usually sparks some conversation because I find there is a distinct difference between what the Bible describes as the attributes of a pastor and what church people expect a pastor to do.

Instead of job descriptions and professional profiles the Bible offers mentors who serve as living examples of the meaning of pastoral ministry. St. John, the pastor, identified himself with this description: “I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus…” (Rev.1:9). John expressed how a pastor should feel toward those he serves in Christ. Pastoral ministry thrives in the context of this shared identity (your brother and companion), and a sense of mutual responsibility (suffering) and a commitment to common goals (patient endurance). Living out our faith together and Biblically is what draws pastor and people into the right kind of relationship.

The words of Jesus are important for today: “…You are not to be called ‘Rabbi’; for you have only one Master and you are all brothers…The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Mt.23:8,11,12). This kind of humility is essential to true spiritual authority.

Pastoral leadership is distinguished by a person’s spiritual gifts, character, training and support. The body of believers is involved in every aspect of in recognizing and developing each of these areas. The Apostle Paul wrote, “It was he [Christ] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the Body of Christ may be built up…” (Eph 4:11-12)

The pastor does not have all the spiritual gifts necessary for the church. “We have different gifts, according to the grace given us…” (Rom 12:6) For the church to rely too heavily on one person, or for one person to assume too much responsibility distorts the healthy development of the church. We burn out pastors by piling too many responsibilities on them. The pastor may be quick to assume ministry responsibilities that would be far better handled by others in the congregation or called from outside to join the ministry team.

The church sets apart the person gifted by the Spirit of Christ, not to do the ministry for the church but to prepare the church to minister.

Many thanks to Doug Webster for sharing the “core thoughts” on this topic. Doug’s gracious and wise input in my life continues to prepare me to minister. Dr. Webster teaches pastoral theology and preaching at Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, AL.

When I was in 5^th, 6^th, & 7^th grade my Dad was Dean of Students at Bryan College in Dayton, TN and, to supplement his meager income, he pastored a rural church about 30 minutes away. It was a country church with humble Tennessee mountain people who loved Jesus. I still remember being in their homes: no TV’s; simple wooden furniture, if there was an upholstered chair it was reserved for the guests; and a small coal stove in each room. Many of the homes had no indoor plumbing but had a two-hole outhouse in the backyard with a Sears & Roebuck catalog sitting on a shelf! I think one of the reasons those people loved Jesus so fully, and had such an impact on my life, is because they had so few “things” to distract them.

In our second year at that church tragedy struck one of the families. Dwight’s wife was diagnosed with cancer. Everyone was stunned. Here was a young mother with five children (the oldest was younger than me) and she had a death sentence. Cancer. In 1965 there wasn’t much that could be done. In a matter of weeks she was dead.

Three things stand out in my memory. One was that the family – the husband and his oldest son – dug the grave and then covered the casket when the service was over. Some may think that was cruel work but I disagree. The sweat and tears that went into the digging of the grave provided an outlet for the physical work of mourning. Much of what we do today when death occurs denies the need to physically express our grief.

The second thing I remember is from the memorial service – Dad didn’t call them funerals and they were not held at funeral homes but in the church – and the many individuals who stood to their feet to share memories about the deceased. Some stories brought tears, some laughter but each recollection helped us celebrate the life that was now gone.

The third memory always brings tears to my eyes. At the close of the memorial service, Dad led in the benediction and thought the service was over. It was not. Dwight, the newly widowed husband walked up to the pulpit and with a clear, strong voice, overflowing with confidence and hope, led us in singing, “When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be, when we all see Jesus, we’ll sing and shout the victory.” There are five stanzas in that great gospel song and we sang every one. There wasn’t a dry eye anywhere. There wasn’t a hopeless heart to be found.

No matter what pain or hardship you now face; no matter what has happened in your past; the fear of the future, or the biting criticism of the last phone call; in spite of the financial pressures that grow greater every day: Keep your eyes on Jesus.

Do the physical work of mourning for past sin. Tell stories to each other about God’s faithfulness. Remind one another that God is always trustworthy. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

Jesus is the beginning and the end. He is the living reminder of the Father’s love for you. Don’t lose hope. Don’t allow all the “stuff” of this life to become a distraction.

Keep your eyes on Jesus.

We were sitting in a restaurant and midway through our meal the wait staff pulled three tables together and seated a large family next to us. It was easy to guess that there were grandparents, their two daughters and six children all under the age of 12. They were loud and disorganized but not obnoxious.

When their food arrived, we were impressed as one of the moms quieted everyone, had them hold hands and proceeded to pray. Her prayer was memorable: “Dear God,” she prayed, “bless this food we are about to eat. Bless us each one. We need your blessing. You know we are really good people. We need good gifts from you, God. We only want good gifts. Please send us good things. ”

When she said, “Amen,” I sat there with mixed emotions.

I was proud of this mom for praying before a meal in a public place with a table full of kids. But I wondered what god she was praying to.

Have we forgotten the opening sentence of the first chapter of Rick Warren’s runaway bestselling book? “It’s not about you.”

Or, even more seriously, have we dismissed Jesus’ words? "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

The prayer is frighteningly selfish. Is God some kind of genie in a bottle that we can use to get whatever we wish for? Is God like Santa Clause who will deliver a nice present if we are good enough? Is prayer an exercise where we come to God with a list of everything we want and hope he will give us some of it? Should we treat prayer as if it’s some sort of lottery – maybe if we pray earnestly enough and ask for a long list of items, God might give us some of it, but only if he picks our number?

This must be the god of the little trinity – me, myself and I – but not the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; the God of the manger, the cross and the empty tomb. The God of the ages, history’s maker, compels us to look beyond ourselves, to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God.” Micah 6:8

Now, before my voice mail and email are jammed with frustration, let’s make this clear: Jesus’ example of prayer teaches us to pray for essential needs – “give us this day our daily bread.” I can recall times – some recently – when I prayed for basics like gas money, groceries, and the payment of utility bills. And God faithfully provided.

James makes it very clear that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17) and we should recognize that He is a great giver. After all, He gave us the greatest gift in His Son, Jesus Christ. Do we really need more than that?

Should the primary focus of prayer – any prayer at any time – be what I want? When and where do we pray for understanding in the middle of pain and hardship? Or do we just pray that the hurt will be taken away?

There are scores of substantial examples to be followed when we pray. Here are two:

John the Baptist, who said, “He (Jesus) must become greater. I must become less.” John 3:30

Jesus prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39)

How arrogant of us to pray for only for our own personal benefit! How sad that so many have such an undeveloped and mistaken understanding of God that they would pray, “You know we are really good people. We need good gifts from you, God. We only want good gifts. Please send us good things. ”

I recall hearing Jim Cymbala say, “We often make the mistake of praying for the presence of God’s blessings when what we really need is the blessing of God’s Presence.”

They told me in Bible College to be prepared to preach, pray or die at a moment’s notice.

On Sunday, Dec 28, I received a phone call at 9:30 am. The Iowa Youth Board had just learned that their speaker would not be able to come for Winter Retreat. The event was scheduled to start at 1:30 that afternoon and they asked if I would come speak. As soon as Morning Worship ended I went home, picked up my Bible, a notebook of sermon notes, my laptop, and packed some clothes.

I did a lot of praying, some preaching, and tried to avoid dying – not unusual for a youth retreat!

It was a privilege to share the Word and I enjoyed the interaction but I also learned a great deal. Here are some of the things I learned and re-learned:

1. The power of ME is growing progressively stronger. On two separate occasions the retreat leaders attempted a game which required the teens to work in groups or teams but individualism took over. The power of ME, looking out for Number One, is intense and makes working in community difficult. The church will have to find creative and effective methods for helping teens and young adults understand the Lordship of Christ as well as the importance of being a member of the Household of Faith. The world calls us to be independent and self-sufficient. Christ calls us to be living sacrifices; to take up our cross and follow Him.

2. Verbal communication is becoming more challenging. The culture our youth live in is saturated with captivating images, mesmerizing sounds, and streaming text messages. In order to effectively communicate the Gospel – the whole counsel of God – we must learn to be innovative in using images, sound and text while still remaining theologically correct. Youth leaders and Pastors need to cultivate the art of telling thought-provoking stories and asking penetrating questions.

3. A teen’s world is small. Youth exist in a relatively small sphere of friends. They might have scores of acquaintances, but the group of trusted friends is smaller than ever. This is exacerbated by youth’s struggle with self-esteem and self-acceptance and is a greater problem for gals than it is for guys. When we ask teens to invite friends to youth group or welcome the visitors who do show up, we are pushing them way beyond their comfort zone. Introducing new youth one-on-one and depending on adults to welcome newcomers may help alleviate some discomfort, but trust and respect are achieved only through a great deal of patience.

4. Blended families are the new normal. Just a few years ago, the majority of teens involved in church activities and youth group were from stable families with a Mom, Dad, and siblings. A family that ate together most evenings and went to ballgames, movies and grandma’s house. Now there is a new normal made up of single parent homes, non-custodial parents, grandparents as guardians, and weekends with “the other dad,” step-brothers & sisters. An informal, non-scientific survey of the teens at this retreat indicated 70% came from a blended or single parent family.

The impact of this “new normal” is staggering. Almost every youth program I know of is designed with the assumption that the youth are coming from a stable, home with two birth parents. Recently I had a discussion with a church leader who was incensed that the youth leader could get 40 high school students out on a Wednesday night but only 6 showed up for Sunday morning. His conclusion? Too much entertainment on Wednesday night. However, if he were to consider the possibility that 70% of the students are from split and blended families he might realize that many of them are with the “other” parent on the weekends.

Furthermore, what does this mean about our young adult, middle-age, and even retirement age ministries? Do we take into consideration the shocking reality that families have changed? We better wake up to this!

As a final observation: Youth have the most sensitive social “antenna” imaginable. If they sense that an adult doesn’t like anything about their appearance, or if they have ever heard even a hint of condemnation about their choice of music, or if an adult has ever “disrespected” them, they will avoid that person like the plague! Adults, no matter what your age, youth are not only our future, they are the church today. Be careful of your attitude.

I say this every year to the staff at Tri State Camp: What you say is important but what you do SCREAMS! Be Prepared!