OUR SHIELD AND FORTRESS

The small, black kitten strayed into our yard while I was tossing a “nerf” baseball to Brady (6) and Broc (4) who were doing their best to hit a homer with their “nerf” bats. Brandt (2), who is terrified of cats, was standing right next to me; one fist tightly held on to my trousers and the other was clutching his “nerf” bat. Every time the kitten turned toward us Brandt would tug on my trousers and mutter, almost whisper, “woof, woof”. Then he would hide his head between my knees.

The dance around my legs – while I was trying to toss the “nerf” ball – went on for several minutes. Soon I was laughing so much I couldn’t continue. I picked up Brandt, hugged him, and he said, “Bad kitty!” This grandpa will cherish that memory (and laugh) for a long time.

It’s ironic that Brandt would be afraid of a kitten weighing less than two pounds which was probably quite intimidated by the two-legged boy weighing almost 20 pounds! If the kitten had come toward Brandt one swipe of the bat he was holding would’ve sent a convincing message.

Allow me to make two observations out of the many possibilities:

One – We are often fearful of people and things which, in perspective can do little eternal harm. Usually these are situations where God has made tools available to us, some of which we hold in our hands, like Brandt’s “nerf” bat, but instead we choose to hide. God offers us the opportunity to be equipped for living, but we want to live on our terms and end up being frightened of the silliest things.

Two – We often look at God’s moral order and declare it “invalid” and “out-of-touch.” We smile at a child whose is afraid of a small kitten but ignore the dangers of eternal consequence when we fail to practice self-control in the areas of morality, money, etc. Instead we flaunt our selfishness and pride claiming the “right” to decide what is right and wrong for ourselves.

There are so many things in this life which are frightening. We are often intimidated and panic-stricken by fear; a dread which can paralyze us. At those times we want God to be right there so we can hang on to his trousers, hide between his knees and, finally, pick us to assure us that everything will be OK.

In the middle of trepidation we need assurance – the palpable presence of God. We want Him to pick us up so we can whisper, “Bad world.” We want to be able to laugh in the face of fear.

God is there. He will never leave or forsake us. His love has no end and His grace has no boundaries. When we cry out to Him we will be heard. He does not sleep; is not distracted; we have no reason to fear.

David writes about the reality of God in Psalm 28:6-8

Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy.

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.

My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

The LORD is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

God knows your need. He knows about that situation or individual who seems to wander around like the black kitten. No matter what our situation, David reminds us that the antidote to our fear is the Lord’s strength. He is our shield and fortress. God understands our fears. May we be afraid of all the right things.

The Latest Test Results

We had a great time in Colorado and arrived home on Monday evening so we could spend one night in our own bed. Tuesday, Oct 28, we drove to Iowa City to stay the night since we needed to be at the hospital by 6:30 am on Wednesday. This was the appointment for the once-every-eight-weeks check-up, evaluation, and consultation as well as Chemo Infusion #9.

All the results of the lab work were encouraging.  Although Lois’ hemoglobin is on the low side of normal, the Dr wasn’t concerned. The CT Scan showed the tumors in the liver looked the same as they did the first week of September – when she had the last Scan. The tumors have not grown but have not shrunk. The biggest one in the liver looks black which they say is a good sign. The spot on the lung has not changed.

Based on all this, the Oncology team decided to change the “chemo cocktail” for the next four infusions. The Oxaliplatin is being subtracted and “put back in the arsenal” so they can use it again if the tumors begin growing. This is the drug which has caused Lois to be extremely sensitive to cold – especially touching cold items and eating/drinking cold food. It has also been the source of the slight neuropathy she has experienced in her hands and feet. We are especially thankful that Lois can be off this during the cold months!

We will continue to travel to the University Hospital every two weeks for infusions of Avastin and Leucovorine. Since Lois is no longer on the Oxaliplatin they were able to double the dose of Leucovorine. Lois will also continue the “fanny pack pump” infusion of Fluorouracil, which is also called 5FU, which is started at the hospital after the other infusions are done and then runs for 46 hours at which time a home-health nurse comes to our house to disconnect. (We joking say that Lois is “deported” every two weeks!)

Both of us are confident that God is working miracles. Every day is a miracle! The results of this Scan and the accompany lab work continue to increase our hope for the future. We were hoping the tumors would shrink but know that God is in control.

Many thanks for praying for Lois and me and our whole family.  We continue to be overwhelmed by your friendship.

Update on Chemo #8

On Wednesday, October 15, Lois received the eighth infusion of Chemo drugs. We received another miracle in the continuous flow of answered prayer as there were no unusual reactions.

The cooler weather is causing some challenges with the extreme sensitivity to cold that comes with one of the drugs but Lois is coping. In fact, she is doing so well that we are leaving after church tomorrow, Oct 19, and will have supper with her brother and his wife in Omaha. We will then travel on to Colorado and spend Tuesday evening and Wednesday with my Aunt Harriet in Montrose before driving to Colorado Springs where I will attend the CareGivers Forum and Lois will spend the days with her sister, Beth. We’ll arrive back home on Monday night, October 27.

On Wednesday, October 29 we begin the day of tests, evaluations and consultations at 7 a.m. in Iowa City. We are trusting the Lord to give the doctors continued wisdom in planning further treatments.

Thanks for praying!

MOTORCYCLES

I was fifteen years old when I had my first ride on a motorcycle. I didn’t sleep for two days and nights afterward but it wasn’t from excitement. Remorse, fear and conviction kept me awake. Dad had explicitly forbidden me (and my younger brother) from ever riding a motorcycle and I had disobeyed.

My Dad grew up in an orphanage but when he was in high school he had a friend, Ed, who came from a “real family.” That family included Dad in many of their activities and he often spent weekends with them. On Ed’s 16th birthday his parents took him to a local dealer and he chose his new motorcycle.  Dad would describe this event with great personal excitement. No one at the orphanage had ever received such an extravagant gift and he was probably more thrilled than Ed!

Dad rode in the car with Ed’s parents and followed as he rode his new motorcycle home. Just a few blocks from the dealer, Ed failed to see an unmarked, two inch diameter, 10 ft galvanized pipe sticking out of a truck. The pipe went right through Ed’s head – killing him instantly. Ed’s parents, along with my Dad, witnessed every gory detail.

Out of that horrifying experience came the rule in our house: Don’t even think about riding a motorcycle. We could all argue that the rule was unreasonable; the fear irrational; that some good therapy would’ve helped Dad understand the motorcycle was not at fault. One might even present a good case for the rarity of red warning flags coming loose from objects extending out of trucks.  I could even make the argument that I rode the motorcycle in a farm field, wearing a helmet, with no other vehicles or obstacles in sight. But those are just excuses: I had disobeyed – sinned.

I was literally sick due to lack of sleep and the emotional turmoil. Dad was no dummy – he asked what was going on. I confessed and expected the punishment to be swift and severe.  Instead, the discipline handed out that day has lasted a lifetime and has been unusually cruel – and it’s also been one of the greatest gifts my Dad ever gave me.

In spite of his absurd fear of motorcycles, Dad was gifted with great spiritual wisdom. He looked me in the eye, shook is finger in my face and with a stern voice said, “Don’t ever forget the conviction, remorse and fear you’ve experienced the past three days. The motorcycle rule is insignificant compared to God’s commands. I pray that every time you’re faced with a decision of whether or not to obey God you’ll remember how you felt after that motorcycle ride.”

No other punishment was handed out. Within the family setting, nothing was ever said about the incident. To this day, every time I see a motorcycle, I’m reminded of how costly it is to disobey.

Have I lived perfectly since then? No. Not even close. (Just ask my wife and children.) But there have been – and continue to be – many times when I recall the sense of foreboding after I rode that motorcycle. It was an unforgettable lesson about remorse over sin; about confession and repentance and the receiving of forgiveness.

Is it possible that we have become immune to the sense of fear and remorse for disobeying God’s commands? Has conviction hung over us for so long that we have learned to live with it? Do we experience remorse and conviction when we act in defiance to God?

This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. 1 John 1:5-10

LIVING IN THE MIRACLE

Lois and I feel as if we are living in a miracle. That was confirmed again on Wednesday, Oct 1, when Lois had Chemo infusion #7 and, as in the past, she experienced no serious reactions! That is a miracle!

At one point, as the infusion was taking place on Wednesday afternoon, there were four nurses standing at the door mostly incredulous that Lois is holding up so well. All the medical professionals are smiling when they see us and comment often about Lois’ positive attitude, increasing strength, and capacity for dealing with the slight neuropathy she does experience in her hands and feet.

We repeatedly give God credit for the miracle we are living.  What a privilege to represent Him to people who become so jaded with suffering and death.

We also rejoice in the miracle of new life. Natalie Jean was born September 25th to our daughter Kari and Jeremy Hamilton. She joins her big sister, Sarah who just turned two a few weeks ago. Natalie weighed 6 lbs 8 oz and was 20 inches long. On September 30 she was already back to her birth weight! Kari was able to deliver naturally even though they induced labor. Everyone came home on Saturday, Sept 27.

CHEMO INFUSION #6

Yesterday, September 17, we had Chemo infusion number six. Everything went very well. Lois’ blood pressure is down – that’s a definite answer to prayer. The Dr still wants to see the BP closer to “normal” but we were all relived to know that prayer (and the medication) is working.

Lois had no discernable side effects to the infusion. She does get an IV bag of minerals (we laughingly call them her “rocks”) and she eats two Tums every hour to boost her calcium. At least once per hour (the infusion takes a little over four hours) Lois grabs the “tree” holding all the bags of fluids and drugs and goes for a walk. The Drs and nurses are amazed that she isn’t experiencing side effects. It’s another opportunity to give God credit.

On the way home (an hour and 45 min drive) we stopped to see my Mom, Clarice, who is doing better than we expected at the Manor House Care Center in Sigourney, IA. Lois kept moving once we arrived home and is doing well this morning.

We respond with a personalization of Philippians 1:18-21 from the Message:

“So how are we to respond? We’ve decided that we really don’t care about the cancer; whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time the subject comes up, Christ is proclaimed, so we just cheerfully go on!

And we’re going to keep that celebration going because we know how it’s going to turn out. Through your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, everything he wants to do in and through Lois will be done. We can hardly wait to continue on this course. We don’t expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to Lois in this cancer journey only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether she lives or dies. Cancer hasn’t defeated us! Alive, she’s Christ’s messenger; dead, she’s his bounty. Life versus even more life! We can’t lose.”

Thanks for praying for and with us!

HOT CARROTS

“But I don’t like hot carrots!” Brady, our 6 yr old grandson was protesting his Mom’s declaration that he needed to eat six carrot slices from the bowl of homemade beef soup that he’d been working on for some time.  He kept on thinking of reasons he needed to get up from the table: 1. Dada (that would be me) needed to see the trophy he’d won at recent pedal-power tractor pull.  2. There was a note in his backpack from school. (Mom had already seen that one.) 3. He needed to go to the bathroom.

Mom would not be distracted and insisted that Brady eat six carrots from his soup bowl. I was sitting next to him and he asked me to eat them for him! I declined the offer. Finally, after some angry tears, he ate the carrots.

We each face things we don’t like. Last night for Brady it was hot carrots.  Pastors and church leaders always face tasks, situations and people we don’t like. And, like Brady, we often procrastinate, protest and seek distractions as try to avoid those “hot carrots.”

Maybe you can relate to the pastor who detests keeping records and receipts in order to get reimbursed for mileage and expenses. Or the elder who avoids returning the phone call from the lady who always complains about the temperature at church. Or the pastor who declines nursing home services because he remembers how it smelled when his grandfather was a patient.

Delaying the inevitable usually makes the situation worse.

Last night we tried to explain to Brady that the carrots wouldn’t taste any different from the rest of the soup ingredients but logic didn’t matter. It rarely does when we’re trying to avoid “hot carrots.”

Every day I face tasks, situations and people I would rather ignore.  Although I’m 47 years older than Brady, I’m still learning to face the “hot carrots” right away. Procrastination just makes things worse.

Putting off the phone call I don’t want to make or postponing answering the email that I would rather ignore, seems to impact everything else that needs to get done. Like you, I can always think of something that must be more important than the expense report. (Where is that trophy, anyway?)

As followers of Jesus – and especially as leaders – we are called to obedience and faithfulness in the enjoyable as well as in the unpleasant. It takes self-control and self-discipline to take up the cross and follow; to bear the burden. Taking care of “hot carrots” is not suffering but it is necessary.

People are watching us.  Our families are watching us.  Most importantly, God sees and hears us as we protest and seek a way out of doing what we don’t like. Deep down we all know the “hot carrots” go along with everything else in the bowl we do like.

Stop procrastinating. Eat your “hot carrots!”

SPEAKING OF THE TRINITY

SPEAKING OF THE TRINITY: METAPHORS FOR THE MYSTERY

by Jerome Van Kuiken

“The Trinity is the cross upon which the mind is crucified.”  This warning from Russian Orthodox thinker Anthony Ugolnik highlights a basic problem Christians face.  I confess belief in the Trinity:  that God is both one and at the same time three.  But can I make any sense of this confession?  Can I explain my belief to others – as a pastor, to my congregation?  As a friend, to my  friend who is a Jehovah’s Witness?  As a father, to my daughter Hannah?

As a matter of fact, Hannah had the Trinity explained to her when she was only four years old – but not by me.  Driving home from church one Sunday, I was startled when a voice from the car seat behind me recited, “It’s a shamrock.  It’s a metaphor: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost; one God, three persons.”  Astonished, I realized that Hannah had picked up these lines from the VeggieTales video Sumo of the Opera, which had a spot about St. Patrick!

This experience offers a solution to our problem of thinking and speaking about God.  Ugolnik is right: we can’t fully wrap our minds around the Trinity.  After all, we’re talking about God!  But metaphors, symbols and such give us ways to talk about the Trinity so that people get an inkling of what we’re saying.  In the spirit of St. Patrick, then, I offer here a sampler of word-pictures of the Trinity, meant to help those caught between a shamrock and a hard place.

Not Separate, But Equal. The logic behind the shamrock metaphor goes like this: just as one shamrock has three look-alike leaves, so the one God has three persons who are alike in character, power, and glory.  Roman Catholic theologian Elizabeth Johnson takes this idea a step further by comparing God with DNA.  The shape of DNA is a double helix: two strands of genetic material woven together to form the building block of all biological life.  Now imagine DNA with an extra strand, Johnson says – a triple helix that’s the greatest source of life ever!  That’s what God is like: three equal persons who together give life to everything.  Word-pictures like these fit well with Bible passages that describe Christians as being baptized in the one name shared equally by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19); equipped equally by the same Spirit, Lord, and God (1 Corinthians 12:4-6); and blessed equally by the One on the throne, his sevenfold Spirit, and Jesus Christ (Revelation 1:4, 5 NLT).

Different Can Be Good! But just because all three members of the Trinity are equal doesn’t mean there aren’t differences between them.  A favorite object lesson for children compares the Trinity to the yolk, white, and shell that make up an egg.  Longtime Methodist evangelist and educator Jon Tal Murphree uses the illustration of a musical chord composed of three different notes.  The Bible itself teaches that God the Father planned our salvation, Jesus Christ died to purchase it, and the Holy Spirit applies it to our lives (Ephesians 1:3-14; 1 Peter 1:2).  We’re also told that the world comes from God the Father, through the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 8:6; Hebrews 1:2), and by the power of the Spirit of God (Genesis 1:2; Psalm 104:30).

A number of metaphors from church tradition beautifully picture how the different persons in the Trinity and their various roles work in harmony for our good.  Do you like to talk?  Then maybe you can relate to this metaphor:  Psalm 33:6 reads, “By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host” (ESV).  The Hebrew word for “breath” in this verse is the same word translated “Spirit” elsewhere.  Also, John 1:1-3 speaks of Jesus as “the Word” by whom everything was created.  So in Psalm 33:6, you have the Speaker, the Word he speaks, and the Breath/Spirit by which he speaks – a biblical picture of the Trinity at work.

Do you ever talk to yourself?  Do you ever answer back?  If so, then you and your thoughts are having a conversation within your mind or spirit.  It’s as if you’re more than one person while you’re in dialog with yourself.  You can probably see where I’m going with this: in the Trinity there is God (the Father); there is his Spirit, who knows his thoughts (1 Corinthians 2:11); and there are his thoughts themselves, which the Bible identifies with Jesus, God’s Wisdom (Proverbs 8:22-31; 1 Corinthians 1:24, 30) or his Idea (John 1:1, Cotton Patch Version).

Do you enjoy nature?  Yet another metaphor envisions God the Father as the sun, which reigns over the earth from the heavens above with great power and such splendor that we can’t even look directly at it (1 Timothy 6:15, 16).  Christ is the sunlight that comes down from heaven to earth, making life and sight possible (John 1:4, 6; 2 Corinthians 4:6; Hebrews 1:3).  The Holy Spirit is the invisible heat and energy given off by the sunlight.  All this may change what you think of when you sing, “You Are My Sunshine”!

Do you like working with your hands?  My favorite metaphor views Christ and the Spirit as the two arms and hands of the Heavenly Father.  The roots of this metaphor run back to Isaiah: In Isaiah 53:1, he calls Christ “the arm of the Lord.”  Later he pictures God as carrying the people of Israel out of Egypt (63:9), and links the Holy Spirit with God’s “glorious arm” (63:11, 12 ESV).  In the beginning, God’s two hands worked together to fashion the universe.  Now God’s two arms are opened wide, inviting prodigal children into the Trinity’s embrace.  Differences between the members of the Trinity only serve to unite them to each other and us to them.

Personal Matters.  The members of the Trinity are equal, different, and united as one God.  But they are also three persons.  The movie Bruce Almighty and the TV show Joan of Arcadia missed this point: they both portrayed God as only one person who plays different parts.  This incorrect understanding of God is called modalism, and if it were true, then there would be no interpersonal relationships within the Trinity.  But look what happens at Jesus’ baptism, for instance:  God the Father speaks, the Holy Spirit descends like a dove, and Jesus obeys, all at the same time (Matthew 3:13-17 and parallels). There by the Jordan River, we see all three persons of the Trinity acting in relationship to each other.

Modalism lies behind the illustration that the one God is three in the same way that I am one person who is a husband to my wife, a father to my daughter, and a pastor to my congregation.  The popular object lesson that compares the Trinity with water can run the risk of teaching modalism, too.  Just as H2O can be a liquid, solid, or gas, so the illustration goes, God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  But we don’t usually think of H2O as existing in all three states at once.  So as not to mislead people, the best way to use this object lesson is to have a glass of cold water with an ice cube in it and plastic wrap over the top to catch the water vapor.  That way, all three states are present at once, just as all three persons are present at once in the Trinity.

How can we illustrate the fact that the one God has, not just three parts, but three persons?  Grotesque images of a three-headed monster or Siamese triplets joined at the heart come to mind!  But Scripture gives us some better ways to picture God as three persons.  In Genesis 1:27, God creates human beings in his own image.  What is that image?  The very next lines say that God created them as male and female, then commissions them to have children (1:27, 28).  Genesis 2:24 follows up, telling us that husband and wife join together to become one flesh.  How does marriage “image” God?  It shows us how two persons can be united as one by their love for each other, a love so powerful that it takes the form of a third person – a child who is itself for nine months united as one with its mother.  Like every other metaphor, this one has its limits: each member of the Trinity has always existed, and God is not a sexual being. But as long as we respect the metaphor’s limits, it can help us see how three persons can be united as one God.

Another classic illustration based on family relationships draws on the story of Abraham.  Genesis 24 records how Abraham sends his most trusted servant to get a wife for his son Isaac.  The servant travels far and returns with the lovely Rebekah.  In the same way, God the Father sends his Spirit into the world to bring Jesus, the Son of God, the church as his bride.

This emphasis on God as three distinct persons has begun to influence popular culture.  The Matrix film trilogy included the characters Neo (a young man who fulfills prophecy by saving his people), Morpheus (a father-figure to Neo), and Trinity (a young woman who helps Neo and even brings him back from the dead).  Likewise, William Young’s bestselling novel, The Shack, allegorizes God the Father as a black woman and the Holy Spirit as an Asian woman alongside of Jesus.  As with modalism, though, we have to be careful not to push things too far.  If modalism falls into the trap of claiming, “1 God = 1 person,” the opposite trap is to think, “3 persons = 3 Gods.”  This trap is tritheism, or “three god-ism.”  In Geoffrey Chaucer’s book The Canterbury Tales, one character tells a tale that shows the trouble with tritheism: Long ago and far away, two warriors fell in love with the same girl.  The warriors chose to settle the issue with a duel.  On the morning of the duel, the first warrior went to the temple of Venus, goddess of love, and prayed that she would give him victory so he could win the girl he loved.  The second warrior prayed to Mars, god of war, for help in defeating his rival.  The girl herself prayed at the temple of Diana, the virgin goddess, saying (more or less), “O Diana, you know I really don’t love either of these guys!  Please work things out so I can stay a virgin and devote myself to your temple.”  You see the problem: how can three different gods with three different specialties and agendas ever agree as to the outcome of the duel?  The result is divine gridlock!  The Trinity is not like that: the three persons together make up only one God with one plan, one will, and one moral character, who together share one life in such a radical way that each person of the Trinity doesn’t exist on his own, but only in relationship with the other two.

One Last Word About the Three.  Along with my other roles, I also teach theology at a Bible college.  Each year, I ask my students if they’ve ever heard a sermon on the Trinity.  Very few tell me that they have.  If belief in the one God as three persons is a vital part of our Christian faith, then why aren’t we proclaiming it more?  I suspect that part of the problem lies in our own uncertainty about how to understand and explain our belief.  It’s my hope that the metaphors I’ve shared will equip us all – pastors, teachers, parents, and the rest of us – to think and speak more clearly about the One who is, as the hymn says, “God in three persons, blessed Trinity.”

SHARE IN OUR COMFORT

And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:7

Wednesday, September 3, started off with lab work and then a 90 minute wait for the CT scan. Unlike many of the patients around us, Lois didn’t struggle with drinking the “glow juice” but the area was crowded and we ended up sitting on a window ledge for a long time. At 11 am we found a cafeteria serving baked potatoes with all the fixins’ and Lois was relieved to be able to eat something.

“Hurry up and wait” seemed to be the word for the day as we waited in the oncology clinic for another 90 minutes.  Both Drs. Iyengar and Halfdanarson walked into the exam room at different times and started with similar words: “Finally we have some good news!”

The CT scan showed the tumors have not grown and some of them even look smaller.  It shows the liver is smaller and in the physical exam it definitely feels softer. That, combined with best numbers yet on the lab work, is evidence that the cancer is no longer increasing.  For us – and you – it is evidence of answered prayer!

Once again, a suspicious spot showed up in the lower lobe of the right lung but even if it is cancer, the chemo treatments should be attacking it as effectively as the cancer in the liver and the Drs. are not overly concerned.  If the spot is still visible when the next CT scan is done, there will be more discussion about what to do.

The Oncology Drs. sent us right to the Infusion center for another round of Chemo. For the next four infusions there will be no change in the Chemo cocktail.  The infusion process took until 5:30 pm and Lois had no reactions this time. Another answer to prayer!

We waited to leave the Infusion Center until everyone was comfortable and Lois was all hooked up to the fanny pack chemo pump which will continue to push drugs into her system for 46 hours.

Going to Iowa City will remain on our calendar every-other week for the foreseeable future.  On October 29 Lois will have another marathon day of testing and the combination of Chemo drugs will be re-evaluated.

Because you have so wonderfully shared in the tough news we have dealt with since May, we wanted you to also share in our comfort. God is in control. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow but we rejoice in His presence and help today.  Again, thanks for praying!

GREAT COMMUNICATORS

Great Communicators develop and continuously sharpen skills that enable them to both convey and receive information so that it is understood and acted upon when appropriate. Becoming a great communicator is hard work and people striving to be effective in this area put in a lot of effort as writers and speakers and especially as listeners.

Great communication is extremely important for fully devoted followers of Christ because we have such an incredibly important message. As the Body of Christ and as individuals we need to make an extra effort to communicate with excellence.

Here are some ideas that might promote better communication in our churches:

1. BECOME A SKILLFUL LISTENER. Sometimes we get confused and forget that without listeners, no communication takes place. Turn off the radio and TV. Look at the person talking. Take notes when appropriate. When possible, repeat back to the other person what you think you heard and allow them to correct you if needed. Feedback is the best test for effective listening.

2. DISMISS PRE-CONCEIVED CONCLUSIONS. We do this a lot by entering into a conversation or even sitting down to listen to a message and assuming we know what’s going on. Maybe the conversation with my friend starts off with a statement about how much gas costs and I assume he will complain about his small paycheck instead of listening and learning about the new website to help people find the lowest price. Instead of listening to the money-saving information, I’m thinking about my “speech” on how to be satisfied with what he has.

3. STOP THINKING THE WORST. This is a very significant challenge for a lot of Christians. We have this propensity to assume the worst. If someone in authority leaves a message on our voice mail, we assume that we’re in trouble. Or if a person we’ve had a disagreement with speaks our name in a conversation on the other side of the fellowship hall, we assume they are bad-mouthing us. Why not try thinking the best? When we see a friend from church eating by herself in a restaurant, why do we assume her marriage is in trouble? Instead, maybe we should consider the possibility that her husband loves her so much he’s taking care of the kids tonight so she can have the evening to herself!

4. STAMP OUT SELFISHNESS. “Look out for number one” seems to be the slogan of our culture. We talk about “my rights” and get red-in-the-face angry when someone even suggests that we might be wrong. The opening line of Rick Warren’s best-selling book, Purpose Driven Life, ought to be emblazoned on our T-shirts and worn daily; “It’s not about you!” The example Jesus left us with is one of self-sacrifice – not exactly a popular concept, but we still need to practice this spiritual discipline. If I can set aside my selfishness for just one conversation I might discover how to reach out to someone who is really hurting.

5. INJECT SOME HUMOR. Not the patronizing or destructive statements we normally laugh at because they are cruel but true humor that begins with being able to laugh at myself. Most of the humor on TV is done at the expense of someone else but we need to begin to look at the common situations in life and see where we can laugh with each other and not at each other.

6. DON’T CREATE TRIANGLES. Conflicts do occur – it’s one of the realities of life. How we handle conflict speaks volumes about our character and Christ-like-ness. To trianglize means that when person A has something against person B, instead of going directly to person B to get it straightened out, person A goes to person C to complain and malign person B. Person C then feels they must tell person B what A has said and then person B goes to person D and person C goes to person E and the triangles continue to form. This is very destructive in the Household of Faith. We MUST learn to practice Matthew 18 and go directly to the person we have a conflict with and get it worked out. When this is practiced Biblically it sometimes means that people need to come under the discipline of the church for refusal to forgive and move on.

Great Communication is hard work. But when we make the effort to really listen, drop our pre-conceived conclusions and think the best instead of the worst; when we take ourselves out of the center and use genuine humor to disarm our defensive emotions; then we are able to practice the principles of forgiveness and enjoy New Testament fellowship.

Encouragement to follow Jesus better!